God is on the ANC's side, Zuma tells crowd
President Jacob Zuma has upped the ante in the local government election campaign, telling supporters that they were "blessed" and warning that a vote for the opposition was a vote for the devil.
In a speech likely to infuriate Christians and opposition parties alike. Zuma told supporters in Mthatata in the Eastern Cape that only an ANC membership card would guarantee an automatic pass to heaven.
Zuma, having died, goes to the pearly gates with his ANC membership card pinned firmly to his black, green and gold cloak. St. Peter offers Zuma a chance to spend a week in heaven, then a week in hell; following which, he can choose where he'd like to go.
ReplyDeleteThe first week, in heaven, is blissful: as calm and peaceful as the fields around Nkandla. Then Zuma goes to hell - and there he finds many of his comrades led by Julius Malema. They play golf, drink, and party all night with beautiful woman (with sushi on their naked bodies) and so on.
St. Peter then asks Zuma what his choice is, reminding him it will be his final choice. Zuma replies that heaven is great, but hell is clearly more fun. In a nanosecond, he is in hell. He arrives in a desolate waste land, a place of torture and hatred. So Zuma turns to Malema and asks: "What happened to all the great stuff that was here?"
"Ah," replies Malema, "last week we were campaigning, this week you actually voted."
(from Jeremy Gordin @ Politicsweb)